he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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