Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
