the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You don't make any sense
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