There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Every concussion has its silver lining
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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