I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
