He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Your penis caused this!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize