sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm lost and stupid without you.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
