The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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