i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
