i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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