The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
