I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize