what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
