He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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