Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize