I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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