i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
