the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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