he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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