I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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