i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
