I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
