Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
