Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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