This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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