kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
