So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
