Fuck appropriateness.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
