We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
