I hope mine doesn't look like that
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
