the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
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