You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Randomize
