I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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