R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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