jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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