If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
