just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
