yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I have feelings that need drinking.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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