never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
