Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Randomize
