please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I am one with the molecules
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
