it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
