I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
