She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
