The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
we should paint friendship bongs
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