he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
