I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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