My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
