So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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