Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
