thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
