Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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