All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
