The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
