I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
