worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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