and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
