What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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