So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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