i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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