No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
