Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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